I will gird up the loins of my mind.

Today, I faced the first real temptation of dissatisfaction with my singleness after quite a while. I am writing this in order that I remember how I dealt with it as I expect to be tested again.

This dissatisfaction started out when I looked at myself and considered my current state to be lonely. And it so coincided with my 2 other friends being absent from lecture.

I was aware that this is a wrong thinking. I resolved to tell myself, I will not allow myself to think this. I will tell my heart and my mind what to think.

1. God did not withhold His only precious Son from me, the Lord Jesus Christ. What else am I to think that the Lord will withhold from me?

2. The Lord will provide. Jehovah Jireh. Deeply etched in my mind, is the impending sacrifice of Isaac but God stopped that. The Lord will provide, and has provided a holy sacrifice, that which we find in our Lord Jesus Christ. Also, I recall a widowed sister in Christ sharing at the cremation service of her beloved husband, "Jehovah Jireh". I will trust in the Lord's provisions.

3. This is the gift of singleness which God has prepared for me. I remember reading and hearing about how singles can serve God in a way which couples cannot. There are specific gifts of singleness which I am determined to fully utilise. Plenty of time is at my disposal, plenty of attention and plenty of energy. I shall seek to fully utilise these resources maximally to the glory of God.

4. This is a wrong way and the wrong attitude to adopt when viewing marriage.  Marriage is not about me (and my perceived loneliness, though indeed Adam wasn't complete until Eve came along), it's not about my helper. It's chiefly about glorifying God through the husband-wife relationship, which is a testimony of Christ's love for the church.

5. Now there is work to do, work that is allotted to me. It is my lot. And I shall rejoice in it!